By AK Dale
HARLINGEN, Texas – Some of the time he’s out and about reporting on the mundane events that make up our daily news.
For the remainder of his waking day, NON PRACTICAL prepares the world for a zombie apocalypse.
Not bad for a “figment.”
“I was hatched in the recesses of someone’s mind, and grew to take over,” Mr. Non, or is it Mr. Practical, said. “I have no real family since I was born a figment. I am a figment so I don’t need no higher learning.”
Guess that answers the question of where he got a degree.
Mr. Non/Practical is affiliated with Zombie Apocalypse Preparation LLC (ZAP), which even has a book out – Zombie Apocalypse Preparation: How to Survive in an Undead World and Have Fun Doing It! – their first through Permuted Press, and now they have the sole purpose of saving the world against the pending ZED uprising caused from bath salt usage (we added that last part).
“I tend to drink a lot of coffee, listen to bad music loudly, and bang away on the keyboard,” NON PRACTICAL (the Press gives up). “Something about the sound of the keys being pressed down that puts me in a trance.”
This mania allows NON PRACTICAL to sound off about all things zombie.
“I began writing as a way to entertain myself and my writing partner,” NON PRACTICAL said. “It was all about the jokes, and somehow it evolved into more than jokes while still having the jokes intact. Other people began reading our ramblings and it slowly turned into a book.”
It is still a tough job, working a normal industry job on one hand while trying to maintain ZAP.
“Balancing writing with paying my bills is one of the most difficult things I’ve encountered,” NON PRACTICAL said. “The more I want to write the less time I have for it because I’m being forced to work double overtime. The biggest obstacles are one, I’m a part-time figment. The meatsack controlling me actually has control most of the time. So he has the ability to cock-block my dreams.”
The ZAP purpose is first and foremost making their readers enjoy their work, even if there is a touch of seriousness in using the Zombie Apocalypse as a metaphor for the world’s ills.
“The most rewarding aspects of our work would have to be hearing people laugh, and realize they’re learning at the same time,” NON PRACTICAL said. “It’s one of those things that brings joy. The worst part of my work is dealing with stupid people. If you need a why you may be one of them.”
The ZAP Facebook page has nearly 70,000 fans that have jumped aboard over the past couple of years. Still, just having sold one book is considered a success more than anything, “because people bought the book.”
“Pretty much everyone has supported all my decisions, the only person who was slightly negative walked out of my life anyway,” NON PRACTICAL added. “So screw them.”
Well the ZAP boys are planning on doing plenty more work to entertain and educated on the merits of zombie apocalyptic preparedness.
“We’re currently working on the second installment with more comedy, more dick jokes and more violence against the undead,” NON PRACTICAL said. “I can’t really give you a teaser as we like to keep it secretive, and it will more than likely be available wherever Permuted Press titles are sold since they’re our publisher and have first dibs on what we write for a while.”
During the time being the ZAP boys and NON PRACTICAL will continue to tackle zombies in all their forms.
“We will tackle zombies which is a huge social problem when they’re chewing on your friends,” NON PRACTICAL said. “Though I don’t recommend tackling them, since that could lead to an unwanted case of death.”
FOR MORE INFORMATION on NON PRACTICAL and ZAP:
WERZOMBIES Press thanks you for taking the time to read about our special guest here today. The Press is an Alan Dale creation and is inspired by his DEAD NATIONS’ ARMY (DNA) book trilogy which launches in July with his first novel, “Code Flesh.” The Press hopes you consider subscribing to the site and look forward to more interviews, news features, columns, and many more in the future. Once again, thank you for joining us here at the Press!